I was wondering about salads. Somebody at work was talking about a Fruit Salad, and it got me thinking: what exactly defines something as a salad? It clearly isn't along the lines of "an assortment of leafy veggies in a bowl or on a plate", because you get stuff like Egg Salad, Fruit Salad, Tuna Salad, etc. Then I started wondering if it was simply a collection of stuff mixed togther that wasn't meat, but then of course you have things like Bacon Bits and hunks o' chicken invalidating that potential definition.

Eventually, I took the crazy step of looking it up:

1. • A dish of raw leafy green vegetables, often tossed with pieces of other raw or cooked vegetables, fruit, cheese, or other ingredients and served with a dressing.
   • The course of a meal consisting of this dish.
   
   
2. A cold dish of chopped vegetables, fruit, meat, fish, eggs, or other food, usually prepared with a dressing, such as mayonnaise.
   
3. A green vegetable or herb used in salad, especially lettuce.
   
4. A varied mixture: “The Declaration of Independence was... a salad of illusions” (George Santayana).

I like the last one the best. It covers all the bases, and best of all, I can start perverting the intentions of the word right away, to whit: tomorrow night we are having the family over to celebrate Mrs. Clubber's birthday (which is not actually until Sunday, but, y'know). We will be ordering pizza to feed the huddled masses, and at least one of them will be a Carnivore Pizza (pepperoni, ground beef, bacon, ham). I look forward to referring to this topping assortment as a Salad. *thumbsup*